Dangerzone 59
The show began with T.W.O. CEO Paramecium and his partner in crime Scott Thunder as they came out to the ring.
Paramecium announced that tonight's main event would be especially entertaining (at least for himself and Scott Thunder) because their most hated rivals would be forced to duke it out in the ring. "Why waste our energy or any other T.W.O. Superstar's energy on challenging these guys for their Championship belts when they could destroy each other for us?"
Of course, Paramecium was talking about World Heavyweight Champion Stratus and HaRdCoRe Champion Sinsyde. Since controversially winning the belts from Paramecium and Scott Thunder at Rage Party '02, Stratus and Sinsyde have been forced to defend the belts against whomever the CEO saw fit. Tonight, instead of fighting another member of the T.W.O. Stratus and Sinsyde would be forced to face each other.
Scott Thunder reminded everyone that our next pay per view, Payback's a B*tch, it would be he (Scott Thunder) who will face the T.W.O. World Heavyweight Champion. Since tonight's match between Stratus and Sinsyde would be a World Heavyweight Championship match, that means Scott Thunder could face Stratus or Sinsyde in the main event of Payback's a B*tch.
Paramecium reminded all that the HaRdCoRe Championship could not be contested in the same match as the World Heavyweight Championship and therefore this would not be a Title-Unification main event. Only Stratus' World Heavyweight Championship would be on the line.
Also tonight, Skavenger will make his in ring debut and a 6-man-tag will be contested for the Tag Team Championships.
[Backstage]
The T.W.O. Interviewer had a chance to speak with 2 Spanish members of the T.W.O. roster.
T.W.O. Interviewer: I'm being joined by 2 Spanish members of the T.W.O. roster, Lamirda & Chiko Bombardez. Guys, you 2 had a match last week and I talked to Lamirda and he was very impressed with your work Chiko. Now tonight I hear you 2 are going to be in a tag team match, is this true?
Chiko Bombardez: That's right my friend. Lamirda and I got to talking after the show last week and we though it would be a great idea to get away from the singles wrestling for a little while and give tag team wrestling a try.
T.W.O. Interviewer: Chiko, I know you've wrestled in tag team matches before you joined the T.W.O. last year, but Lamirda, have you ever been in tag team matches before.
Lamirda: No, actually I haven't really had a partner before. I have been in a couple 6-man tags and stuff but I've never really had a partner. I figured that since Chiko has a history in tag wrestling, he could help me out with tag stuff and I'll help him out with singles on the side.
T.W.O. Interviewer: Do you see the T.W.O. Tag Team Championships in your future or you just plan on tag wrestling for the fun of it?
Chiko Bombardez: We hope to get more out of it then just fun or experience, we hope to win matches and make a name for ourselves. We haven't really been able to carve a notch for ourselves in the T.W.O. and maybe through this new avenue we can start to turn some heads. And in the process if we can win a title or two that would be great too.
T.W.O. Interviewer: Guys, I wish you the best of luck in your match tonight and hope that you 2 work out well as a team. By the way, what is your team name going to be?
Lamirda: Los Compadres!
[In the ring]
After last weeks Jobber Championship match, the T.W.O. Board of Commissioners decided to have Midnight Lightning defend the belt once again. This time it would be against a person whom we haven't seen in action for many weeks, Rain.
Rain and Lightning got in the ring and began what can only be described as a sleeper match. The term "Sleeper Match" does not mean that the match is boring, in fact this was a match between 2 guys who hadn't done much recently to get the attention of fans. Not even the Board of Commissioners thought that this would be a great match, but it surprised a lot of people. Maybe it was the opportunity for both of them to be in front of a crowd and in front of the cameras, but something came out of both of these competitors which we haven't seen in a while. Heart.
In the end it was Rain who came out victorious in this match, leaving Midnight Lightning to retain the title of Jobber Champion. However, both individuals won the attention of all who saw this match and rejuvenated hope in their careers.
Winner: Rain
[Backstage]
The T.W.O. Interviewer caught up with Natas & Blaze.
T.W.O. Interviewer: Guys, last week you attacked Skavenger and beat him senseless--
Natas: Yeah, we did.
T.W.O. Interviewer: Would you let me finish? As usual, the 2 of you together beat down 1 guy. Afterward you were so proud of yourselves you never thought of the possibility of a return attack. Before the end of the night you were found unconscious in your locker room. Do you remember what happened and did Skavenger have anything to do with it.
Blaze: I don't remember much, but I do remember celebrating after kicking Skavenger's ass when I found a little stuffed doll in my locker bag.
Natas: Blaze asked me if the toy was mine and of course I said no.
Blaze: As we were trying to figure out whose toy it was, the lights in the lockeroom went out and I felt something hit me over the head. Next thing I knew, I was being woken up in the ambulance.
Natas: I heard a crack which was probably Blaze getting hit in the head and then a thud, which was probably Blaze hitting the floor. I yelled out, "WHO'S THERE?!" and a deep voice answered, "your worst nightmare." Then I was knocked out.
T.W.O. Interviewer: Did the voice sound like Skavenger?
Natas: No, actually Skavenger's voice is more high and scratchy, this voice was more deep and throaty.
T.W.O. Interviewer: So Skavenger had nothing to do with the attack?
Natas: Actually, we believe that there were 2 attackers.
T.W.O. Interviewer: 2 attackers?
Blaze: We were talking about it and it appears as though the guys who hit me must have been standing in front of Natas. When Natas asked who was there, the voice came from behind him and then he was hit.
Natas: If there was only one attacker then he must be able to move pretty quickly, and without making footsteps.
T.W.O. Interviewer: Is it possible that this other attacker was the mysterious Skarekro character who said is going to debut at Payback's a B*tch?
Blaze: Possibly, but we aren't going to wait for Payback's a B*tch to get our payback on Skavenger. I'm fighting him tonight!
T.W.O. Interviewer: Watch out for dolls and men who attack you from behind in the dark.
Natas: We'll try.
[In the ring]
After losing his World Heavyweight Championship match last week, Lestat was downgraded to fighting lower card performers. His opponent tonight would be Dweebo.
Lestat came out to the ring with a microphone and complained about his World Title shot last week. He said that Stryknieghn cost him the match and that he demanded a chance to teach Stryknieghn a lesson.
Scott Thunder came out to the ring and told Lestat that if he wanted a match at Stryknieghn at Payback's a B*tch, that he could grant that match. "But," Scott Thunder said, "I will only grant that match if you can make it past Dweebo tonight!"
Lestat attacked Dweebo with no mercy. It looked as though Dweebo didn't stand a chance. After about a minute of intense torture, Stryknieghn came to Dweebo's rescue.
Stryknieghn and Lestat began fighting in the ring, and T.W.O. officials had to be called out to pull the 2 wrestlers apart.
Winner by DQ: Lestat
[Backstage]
World Heavyweight Champion Stratus and HaRdCoRe Champion Sinsyde were seen talking backstage.
Stratus: Sinsyde, I've been thinking about our situation tonight and I've decided that the best thing for the both of us if you throw the match tonight. Lay down, let me pin you and we can go home with nobody getting hurt.
Sinsyde: How is that the best thing for the both of us? This is probably my only chance at a World Heavyweight Title shot and you expect me to throw it away? Maybe you should lay down and let me beat you!
Stratus: You already have the HaRdCoRe Championship. You don't need this belt. If things are going to work out between us and we're going to be expected to help each other, we can't be out there trying to kill each other.
Sinsyde: If you beat me, you gain nothing. However, If I beat you, I will be both HaRdCoRe and World Heavyweight Champion. With both belts I can finally rule at the top of the T.W.O.
Stratus: Didn't you hear Paramecium? This is not a title unification match. Even if by some miracle you beat me, which you couldn't do on your best day, Paramecium will probably not allow you to keep both belts.
Sinsyde: That's fine with me, I only want the World Title anyway. How about we compromise. Instead of wrestling each other tonight, I give you my HaRdCoRe Championship in exchange for your World Championship.
Stratus: Sorry, but that ain't happening. If you want this belt you're going to have to pry it out of my cold dead fingers.
Sinsyde: That can be arranged!
[In the ring]
Chiko Bombardez and Lamirda, 2 Spanish members of the T.W.O. roster compose the new tag team of Los Compadres. In their first match as a team Los Compadres faced the dysfunctional team of Bad Boy Barrett and Kamikaze. Barrett and Kamikaze again had trouble working together and the new duo was able to pin Barrett for the 1-2-3.
Winners: Los Compadres
[Backstage]
The T.W.O. Interviewer had a chance to speak with new Tag Team Champions Superbman and Zygoplath (Out of This World)
T.W.O. Interviewer: Guys, congratulations on besting Law & Order last week for the T.W.O. Tag Team Championships. How does it feel to be Champs?
Zygoplath: When I returned at Dangerzone 52 I told people that I was going to make an intergalactic impact and now I feel that I've done that with the help of my partner Superbman.
Superbman: For the longest time people have been saying that I don't really have superbpowers. Well now I've proved it! I won the titles without even breaking a sweat! It was a superb match!
T.W.O. Interviewer: Have you 2 been getting a lot of calls from hot chicks throughout the galaxy, now that you hold so much gold.
Zygoplath: Actually, this one girl who I knew in high school called me the other day on Intergalactic Telephone and Telegraph and we caught up on some old times. Then she mentions the Tag Title win and I realized "this girl never gave me the time of day in high school!" She only wanted me for my gold and I don't play that.
Superbman: The other day Leona Livingston called me. I've had a crush on her since I first realized that I had superbpowers. I though maybe she was taking me up on the offer I made 10 years ago to take her out to a movie. But then she made some remark about melting down my gold belt and making it into a wedding ring. I'm not denying that I'd like to marry Leona but I don't want her to marry me because I'm T.W.O. Tag Team Champion. I want her to marry me for me not my gold.
T.W.O. Interviewer: What about enemies? I'm sure there are a lot of people from your past looking for a shot at your gold.
Zygoplath: Of course there are the usual T.W.O. guys. Law & Order want a rematch. Supply & Demand want a match. I even heard that Paramecium and Scott Thunder might step in the ring with us. But our greatest fear is that Lux Lethor will try and steal the belts while we're in the shower.
Superbman: Lux Lethor is a nemesis of mine from my past. After I put him in jail he never forgave me. I heard recently he escaped and he might be coming for our belts. I hope this isn't true, but it's possible, Lux Lethor could be heading to the T.W.O.
T.W.O. Interviewer: As much as we would like to see Superbman vs. Lux Lethor, we will be treated to an entirely different match here tonight. Guys, you will be defending the Tag Team Championships against Law & Order and Supply & Demand in a triangle tag match. How does that make you feel?
Zygoplath: Obviously it will be a challenge to be defending the belt with 2 other teams in the ring, but we're up for the challenge.
Superbman: Once I fought off hundreds of Lux Lethor's goons, singlehandedly. I think my man Zygoplath and I can handle 2 of the T.W.O.'s best tag teams.
[In the ring]
In Skavenger's debut match he took on one half of the Thuggas, Blaze. After Natas & Blaze attacked Skavenger last week, they were found beaten and bloody in their locker room. Now Skavenger has a chance for revenge before his friend Skarekro debut's at our next pay-per-view Payback's a B*tch.
The match between Skavenger and Blaze was interesting to say the least. Skavenger had a strange style of fighting but it seemed to work for him as he gained the upper hand. Natas (Blaze's tag team partner) who was standing at ringside, tried to distract the referee while Blaze went for a steel chair. Skavenger got to it first, but right before he was able to use it to attack Blaze, Natas jumped in the ring and pulled the chair away.
Natas & Blaze (the Thuggas) proceeded to beat Skavenger down in the middle of the ring. Natas then grabbed a microphone and dared Skarekro to show himself. When nobody answered the call, the Thuggas decided to call it a night and walk into the back.
Winner by DQ: Skavenger
[Backstage]
The T.W.O. Interviewer was talking to Spaz and Nymphous Fornicate.
T.W.O. Interviewer: Spaz, at our next pay-per-view Payback's a B*tch you will be defending the Lightheavyweight Championship against Allen Vector. How do you feel about that?
Spaz: I think Allen Vector is a very competent Lightheavyweight contender, but don't forget I defeated him at the Big Bad Battle to win this belt. I will have no trouble beating him again. Besides, I don't think there will be much of him left after he faces Nymphous Fornicate tonight.
T.W.O. Interviewer: That brings me to my next question. Nymphous Fornicate, would you face Spaz for Lightheavyweight Belt if given the opportunity?
Nymphous Fornicate: I would and I'll tell you why. Spaz has no trouble defending his belt against anyone. He knows he's good and he's not afraid to prove it. Unlike our Hell's Faction friend Sinsyde who is always trying to dodge a good HaRdCoRe Title defense.
Spaz: That's right. I'm not afraid of anyone. Win or lose I will always put on my best match. Last week I faced Sinsyde and I almost had that match won. If it wasn't for Allen Vector I would be the new HaRdCoRe Champion right now!
Nymphous Fornicate: After what Allen Vector did last week to cost Spaz the belt, we couldn't wait for Payback's a B*tch to extract some revenge. After tonight Allen Vector and all others will know never to get involved in the business of the Hell's Faction.
T.W.O. Interviewer: Speaking of Hell's Faction business, are you guys still holding Sugar Kooky hostage?
Spaz: You're damn right. Nymphous Fornicate beat Arabian Pimpman in that match they had at Dangerzone 53. The stipulations of that match were that the winner would have possession of Sugar Kooky. Why should we give her up?
T.W.O. Interviewer: What do you guys need to keep her hostage for? What purpose does she serve?
Nymphous Fornicate: We're a couple of guys and she is our female slave. What do think we do with her?
[In the ring]
Nymphous Fornicate put everything he had into this match hoping to weaken Allen Vector before his Lightheavyweight Title shot at Payback's a B*tch. This plot quickly became obvious as all hell broke loose in the match and Spaz and Nymphous Fornicate were attacking Allen Vector together.
After a well placed spinkick off the fence, Spaz was sent reeling into the crowd. Officials temporarily held him back as Allen Vector finished off Nymphous Fornicate in the ring.
Winner: Allen Vector
To view the promotional video for Allen Vector's title shot at Spaz, click here.
[Backstage]
The Thuggas, Natas & Blaze were again found beaten and bloody in their locker room. Lying next to them was a weird looking little stuffed doll.
Skarekro, friend to Skavenger is scheduled to make his debut at Payback's a B*tch. To view the promo, click here.
[In the ring]
This HUGE tag team championship match saw Zygoplath & Superbman defending their newly won T.W.O. Tag Team Championship belts against Law & Order and Supply & Demand.
The match was memorable to say the least as bodies were flying everywhere. The officials could not contain the mayhem and it appeared as though all of these great T.W.O. athletes where putting their careers on the line for the coveted T.W.O. Tag Team Championship belts. Tags were ruled unnecessary, so all six competitors were fighting constantly, as 2 of the T.W.O.'s best referees tried to keep up with all the nearfall's.
Due to the nature of three-way tag matches, the first person to gain the pin would win or retain the belts for their respective team. Finally a pin was made as Arabian Pimpman pinned one of the Wrestling Enforcers from the team of Law & Order. New champions were crowned and neither Zygoplath or Superbman were pinned.
Winners: Arabian Pimpman and Crack-Edd (Supply & Demand)
[Backstage]
As Arabian Pimpman and Crack-Edd celebrated the beginning of their second title reign as T.W.O. Tag Team Champions, Zygoplath and Superbman broke up the festivities. Out of This World demanded that Supply & Demand supply a tag title shot next week at Dangerzone 60. Supply & Demand lived up to their namesake and granted the match.
[The Main Event]
The T.W.O. HaRdCoRe Champion Sinsyde was getting the title shot he never thought he'd see again and he knew this would probably be his last. Even though Sinsyde and Stratus had been working together since our last pay-per-view, Sinsyde would not pass up this once in a lifetime opportunity.
With both of their careers and reputations on the line, Stratus and Sinsyde put on a worthy main event. But in the end, it was the bigger, better Stratus who came away with the T.W.O. World Heavyweight Championship in hand.
Winner: Stratus
After a wonderful night of competition, fans were reminded that Scott Thunder would be facing T.W.O. World Heavyweight Champion Stratus at Payback's a B*tch. To view the promotional video click here.
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