Dangerzone 41
Paramecium announced that also at Dangerzone 42, next week, he has decided to defend the World Heavyweight Championship against the winner of the Big Bad Battle Match, and Hell's Faction Leader Sinsyde. He guaranteed that this would be the biggest main event in the history of Dangerzone.
Somebody from the audience yelled out to Paramecium asking him who he would face tonight, the first Dangerzone since the Big Bad Battle, and his reply was that he would not have a match tonight, instead, he said that he had a meeting with former WWE Champion Kurt Angle, and that he would take T.W.O. camera's along to document the event. Also, T.W.O. Women's Champion Natalya the She-Devil, would not be allowed to defend the Women's Title tonight, because she too would be leaving to meet Kurt Angle, and hope to be able to course him into giving her a date.
Nevertheless, he said, there would be a great card tonight, and all should sit tight in what would surely be a night to remember.
Just as a reminder, if anyone doesn't know what is currently going on, you can still check out the results of the T.W.O. Big Bad Battle 2001 by clicking here.
{Backstage}
Scott Thunder is talking to his "slave" Kamikaze. He says that because of how the Hell's Faction cheated it's way to victory at the Big Bad Battle last week, and double-teamed him in order to eliminate him and win the Big Bad Battle, he would take on both Sinsyde and Arachnid of Hell's Faction tonight. But not in a handicapped match, he would make his "slave" Kamikaze join him as his Tag Team partner. And Scott Thunder has already gotten clearance for the Tag Team Championship to be on the line.
Tonight
Scott Thunder/Kamikaze vs. Sinsyde/Arachnid
Tag Team Championship
{Opening Contest}
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After returning to the T.W.O. at the Big Bad Battle, Nymphous Fornicate eliminated Army Dude from that match.
Army Dude and Nymphous Fornicate gave us a classic encounter. The match concluded with Nymphous Fornicate performing his finishing maneuver, the "hand-job" and rendering Army Dude incapacitated.
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{Backstage}
The Arabian Pimpman approaches Allen Vector with a proposition.
Arabian Pimpman: Vector, I'm sorry that you lost your chance to regain the Lightheavyweight Championship last week.
Allen Vector: What is your point?
Pimpman: My point is, I have an opportunity for you to regain some confidence in yourself.
Vector: How is that?
Pimpman: I have a problem with Cadavor, and I think if you help me out, it would be beneficial for you?
Vector: You want me to fight your battles for you? I don't think so.
Pimpman: All I'm asking is a little exchange. Cadavor made a fool out of me last week, and if you can help me out there will be a reward in it for you, to help you get through your loss last week.
Vector: Will you just tell me what this is about?
Pimpman: If you take on Cadavor for me tonight, I will give you one of my hoe's and she will make you feel like a man again.
Vector: Well, I don't think I already have a match tonight, so if you are promising to come through with the chick, I think we have a deal.
{In the Ring}
Midnight Lightning vs. Chiko Bombardez
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This was a close match, but Chiko came out victorious, leaving Midnight Lighting with the Title as T.W.O. Champion Jobber.
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{Backstage}
Stratus: Where is Paramecium, I need to find out who that referee was.
Mr. Malicious: I don't know man, I think he already left to meet Kurt Angle.
Stratus: Do you know where Paramecium is?
Lestat: Not a clue man, sorry.
Stratus: How about you?
Kamikaze: I haven't seen him. What are looking for him for?
Stratus: I need to find that biased referee that cost me my World Title last week.
Kamikaze: I think I saw the referee you were talking about, he went that way.
Stratus: Thanks (takes off in pursuit of the referee)
{In the ring}
Dellico D.M.S. vs. Rain
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It is a fast passed classic mexican-luchadore / crazy-American lightheavyweight style match-up. Unfortunately neither of these individuals had a title to put on the line. The match came to a conclusion when PAB, fellow Acronym member helped DMS to a victory over the returning Rain.
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Afterwards, Rain challenged PAB to prove himself next week at Dangerzone 42 by facing Rain in the ring and giving him an opportunity at revenge.
{Backstage}
As advertised, Father Athos made a shocking announcement to the fans of the T.W.O.
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Father Athos:
I will continue preaching my message on my website ( http://J.L.Headquarters.tripod.com) and doing my part to bring the World closer together by abolishing beliefs that separate and restrain society. But my days as an active wrestling competitor have passed. I thank all the fans for giving me this opportunity to try my hand at this great sport, and I hope you will never forget me or the message that I preach--
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Just then Father Athos was jumped by the members of the Justice League, Wrestling Enforcer, Gus the Annihilator, and Superbman. Afterwards when asked why they simply stated that they couldn't let him leave without one last beat-down. But was it really because they were jealous of their loss at the Big Bad Battle?
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{In the Ring}
Allen Vector takes on Cadavor, for Arabian Pimpman. After Cadavor wins the match, Vector goes backstage to claim his payment.
Vector: OK, Pimpman, I took on Cadavor for you, now where is my hoe?
Pimpman: But you lost.
Vector: So?
Pimpman: You lost, you didn't exact revenge on Cadavor for what he did to me last week, that was pointless, I'm not going to reward you by giving you a free ride with one of my hoes.
Vector: Wait a minute! We had a deal!
Pimpman: That's right and you didn't carry through with your end of the bargain!
Vector: Yes I did, I fought Cadavor, now give me a hoe, I need to relax.
Pimpman: You didn't win, so no hoe.
Vector: That wasn't the deal!
Pimpman: Well, maybe you should have discussed the terms of the deal a little more closely.
Vector: I am going to kick your ass!!!
Pimpman: Now hold on one minute, let me call someone and we can settle this right now.
(Pimpman dials the phone)
Paramecium: Hello?
Pimpman: I seem to have to be having a problem with Allen Vector.
Paramecium: What kind of problem? I'm on my way to meet one of the greatest wrestlers in the history of the sport!
Pimpman: I told him I would give him a hoe, if he would get revenge on Cadavor for me. But he lost the match, and now he thinks he deserves a hoe.
Paramecium: Why can't you just give him a hoe?
Pimpman: I can't be giving them away, that's bad business.
Paramecium: Fine, I know how to settle this. Next week at Dangerzone 42, you and Vector will fight and if Vector wins, he gets a hoe for a whole week, and if you win, no hoe.
Pimpman: Why didn't I think of that?
Paramecium: Because you're an idiot. Now don't call me again unless you're setting up an appointment with me and Britney Spears.
Pimpman: You got it sir no problem. (Hangs up the phone)
Vector: What did he say?
Pimpman: He said "No hoe" now get out of my face.
{In the Ring}
Mr. Malicious and Lestat take on Hell's Faction members Spaz and Draco for interfering in their Tag Team Title Match at last weeks ppv event the Big Bad Battle. "If it wasn't for their interference," Malicious said, "Lestat and I would be tag team champions today.
Lestat also made a statement, "When Spaz won the Lightheavyweight championship by using my brother's finishing maneuver, he not only disgraced me but he disgraced the memory of Armand. I will teach Spaz respect, and no one besides myself shall ever be permitted to use my brother's finishing maneuver again."
The tag match was taken to the limit, with Mr. Malicious and Lestat holding nothing back in their quest for revenge against the Hell's Faction and Spaz and Draco. They also had the complete emotional support and backing from the entire T.W.O. Locker room and fans. After the Hell's Faction's undeserving dominance of the Big Bad Battle Pay Per View, the T.W.O. Superstars banded together, vowing never to allow the Hell's Faction an opportunity to repeat the same heinous acts as they perpetrated at the Battle 2001.
Mr. Malicious and Lestat came out victorious at Dangerzone 41, much to the relief of the T.W.O. Superstars viewing the match.
Mr. Malicious: This is the first serious blow the T.W.O. has made against the Hell's Faction. We should never have allowed them to get as strong as they have in the past couple of months, but we ignored the problem until it bit us in the ass at the Big Bad Battle. Now we realize our mistake, and are willing to do what it takes to rectify the situation. Hell's Faction, take this word of warning and listen well. Your days are numbered. The T.W.O. and it's fans will not stand for your tyranny, nor will be allow you to gain a position on power within this great organization.
Lestat: I also have a message to Paramecium. Next week, at Dangerzone 42, when you defend the World Title against Hell's Faction leader Sinsyde, remember that the T.W.O. is behind you. We may not like you, but we are all fighting for the same cause. We shall not allow men like the Hell's Faction to dictate our careers in the T.W.O. and it is up to you Paramecium, to prevent Sinsyde from gaining a position of power within the T.W.O. as World Champion. If he is allowed to win that match, the T.W.O.'s fate will be in his hands. We can't go down without a fight, and we cannot allow the Hell's Faction to get their hands on the number one gold in the sport.
Mr. Malicious: But don't forget tonight. Scott Thunder and Kamikaze, I don't like either of you. But tonight, you need to strip Sinsyde and Arachnid of the T.W.O. Tag Team Championships. Bring the gold back home where it belongs! Do it for the T.W.O.
{Backstage}
Sinsyde and Arachnid argue about the outcome of the Big Bad Battle Match.
Arachnid: Why did you eliminate me?
Sinsyde: I had to. It was commanded by our lord. It was the only way to ensure that I, "the Chosen One" would be granted a match for Paramecium's World Title. Next week I will be allowed to bring the Heavyweight Championship home, to it's rightful owner, and user in an era of never-ending torment for the members of the T.W.O. Don't you see? I had no choice. It was all part of the divine plan.
Arachnid: OK, but you'd better not try anything funny tonight in the Tag Team Championship match.
Sinsyde: Don't worry. Tonight you and I will shall retain the Tag Titles, and next week gain possession of the World Title, and then the rest of the T.W.O. shall fall at our feet.
{Also Backstage}
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Stratus found the biased referee, Jeff Star and told him he had one week to get in shape because at Dangerzone 42 he was going to kick his ass in the middle of the ring for all the World to see.
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{In the Ring}
Scott Thunder and Kamikaze come out to the ring to take on the T.W.O. Tag Team Champions Sinsyde and Arachnid.
Though Kamikaze does not like Thunder, they are united in their quest to eradicate the Hell's Faction plague. Though Arachnid and Sinsyde have had their differences, they too are united in their quest for total domination of the T.W.O.
The match gets underway as Kamikaze and Arachnid square off. Kamikaze starts off strong and the fans are totally behind him. But Arachnid goes for the eye gouge, and while Kamikaze attempts to regain his visuals, Arachnid lifts him over his head and sends him crashing to the ground. He then tags in Sinsyde, who unleashes a fury of unrelenting maneuvers.
Sinsyde and Arachnid continue to prevail over Kamikaze, not allowing him a moment to recover and tag in Thunder. Sinsyde performs his patented Lay-Z-Boy DDT and it appears as though the match is over. But Kamikaze kicks out. The fans go crazy. Sinsyde attempts a Powerbomb on Kamikaze, but the man is just too big. Kamikaze powers out of the maneuver and quickly tags in Thunder, at the same time Sinsyde tags in Arachnid.
Thunder charges into the ring wielding the Singapore Cain, and chops Arachnid down. Thunder then attacks Sinsyde with the Cain, beating him into unconsciousness. Meanwhile, the referee is attempting to take the Singapore Cain away from Thunder (because it is a foreign object) in the process, the referee gets a swift Cain to the temple rendering him unconscious as well.
Scott Thunder and Kamikaze have the match won, but no referee to count the pin. This is where Spaz and Draco come into the mix. They run out to the ring, attaching Thunder and Kamikaze, but get more of what their counterparts experienced, and are too rendered unconscious.
Thunder and Kamikaze stand over their fallen foes, victorious over the entire Hell's Faction, and with no referee to award them the Tag Team Titles. Thunder goes searching for some water and splashes it in the referee's face. That Doesn't work. Kamikaze tries to put on the referee shirt and count the pin for himself. But that won't count. Kamikaze runs into the back hoping to find another referee who can count the pin. But returns empty handed. Apparently, Spaz and Draco have already incapacitated all the backstage officials. If Paramecium were in attendance he could officiate as the CEO, but alas, he too is not resent.
Thunder and Kamikaze then decide to grab some barbed wire and tie up the entire Faction, so that upon the referee's awakening he can see Thunder and Kamikaze's triumph. As they begin binding the members with this wire mesh, Sinsyde unnoticeably starts coming to. Sinsyde grabs for a foreign object but all he can grasp is a twig.
When Thunder walks over to pick up Sinsyde, he is greeted with a twig in the eye, rendering him temporarily vision less. Kamikaze charges toward Sinsyde and right into a drop-toe-hold maneuver sending him face first into a rock at ringside. The referee conveniently comes to in the nick of time, and Sinsyde places the twig atop Kamikaze's lifeless body for the pinfall.
Afterward Sinsyde holds up the twig and proclaims, "Twiggie! You did it! You won the match!"
Nobody can believe what they just saw.
{Backstage}
In responce to the sneak attack earlier in the evening, both Army Dude and Cadavor, agree to team with Father Athos to take on the Justice League in a Six-Man-Tag, as part of the TWO's Dangerzone 42 Supercard. Next week... stay tuned.
{Paramecium meets Kurt Angle}
Paramecium: My sister and I arrived at the meeting place, where we would be allowed to converse with quite possibly the world's greatest real wrestler today, Kurt Angle.
I personally asked Kurt Angle if he recognized me in person, and of course he did. He said, "You're the greatest Backyard Wrestler today, the T.W.O. World Heavyweight Champion Paramecium." I told him he was damn right, and asked him what advise he would give to a guy like me. He said, "just follow your dreams, and continue doing what you are doing now. You'll do just fine." I then asked him what he had seen of the T.W.O. He said that he visits our website all the time and follows many of our wrestlers, especially me, and he said that he was a big fan. "I love backyard wrestling, but only when it is done with the professionalism and the skill of the Teenage Wrestling Organization. Those other hacks don't know the first thing about Sports-Entertainment."
Then my sister, Natalya the "She-Devil" asked Kurt if he would go out with her. He looked her right in the eyes and very nicely said, "I'm sorry, but you're too young for me... not to mention ugly, annoying, and you have bad breath, oh it's true, it's true." You'd think being shot down would be devastating to my sister, but it was the high point of her life. "Kurt Angle talked to me! I'm so happy that a man like him acknowledged that I am alive." I was surprised. Not because she was so optimistic, but because she properly used the word "acknowledged" in a sentence.
We thanked Kurt Angle for a great time and asked him if he would ever consider wrestling for the Teenage Wrestling Organization. After all you don't have to be a Teenager to be in the T.W.O., I myself an 20 now. He declined however, but wished us the best and told us pro-wrestling was not about getting hurt, but hurting others.
Just before I left I said, "Oh yeah. How much do we owe you for your time?"
He said, "I thought I was paying to meet you."
Oh that Kurt, what a kidder. "You can send me a check, there's no hurry," I said.
Me and my sister holding the WWF Championship belt
Here are the pictures Kurt Angle signed
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