Dangerzone 38
Father Athos, Wrestling Enforcer and Gus the Annihilator form a group known as the Justice League. Last week Wrestling Enforcer asked a new wrestler, Superbman, if he would like to join the group, and now Father Athos has something he would like to say about the matter.
Father Athos: Wrestling Enforcer, I don't know what you were thinking last week asking Superbman to join the Justice League, but you have no right to ask anyone to join the group without the consent of the groups leader... ME!!!

Wrestling Enforcer: Gus the Annihilator and I can do whatever the hell we want, whose to say we have to answer to you?

Father Athos: I'm the leader damn it. And besides where is that Gus anyway?

Wrestling Enforcer: He's preparing for a big match tonight against Superbman.

Father Athos: That's great, I hope he gets his ass kicked.

Wrestling Enforcer: Like you did last week?

Father Athos: I did not get my ass kicked last week!

Wrestling Enforcer: You sure did.

Father Athos: Did not. And don't ever speak to a superior officer!

Wrestling Enforcer: Superior? You are not my superior!

Father Athos: Yes I am.

Wrestling Enforcer: No you're not!

Father Athos: Yes I am. I started this group and that makes me the superior.

Wrestling Enforcer: Well what if we don't want you as the superior?

Father Athos: Then you should just quit!

Wrestling Enforcer: What if Gus and I both don't want you as the superior?

Father Athos: Are you trying to say that you don't want me to be your superior?

Wrestling Enforcer: That's exactly what I'm saying!

Father Athos: What are you getting at?

Wrestling Enforcer: Gus and I don't like you, you're fired from the Justice League!

Father Athos: I'm fired?

Wrestling Enforcer: You're fired!

Father Athos: But what will I do about my wife and kids?

Wrestling Enforcer: You don't have any wife or any kids?

Father Athos: What about my dog?

Wrestling Enforcer: You don't have a dog either!

Father Athos: Cat?

Wrestling Enforcer: No.

Father Athos: Mouse?

Wrestling Enforcer: No.

Father Athos: House fly?

Wrestling Enforcer: Kill it!

Father Athos: You want me to kill the one and only friend I still have.

Wrestling Enforcer: (Swat!) There, I did it for you.

Father Athos: I can't believe you just did that! First you fire me then you kill my only friend?

Wrestling Enforcer: That's right and we never want to see or hear from you again!

Father Athos: You really mean it don't you?

Wrestling Enforcer: You're damn right I do.

Father Athos: That hurts man, that really hurts.

[Backstage: Paramecium's office]
Stratus barges in carrying Arabian Pimpman.

Pimpman: Put me down you big camel.

Paramecium: What is the meaning of this?

Stratus: Last week you told me that nobody would get a World Title shot unless they won the Big Bad Battle Match at the next pay per view. Then you allow this pathetic excuse for a wrestler get a World Title shot later that night in exchange for a few minutes with his hoe. What's up with that?

Paramecium: Did you see the hoe?

Stratus: Yes, I saw the hoe!

Paramecium: Was she hot?

Stratus: Yes.

Paramecium: Does that answer your question?

Stratus: The point is, you gave him a title shot but not me.

Paramecium: Do you know any hot chicks?

Stratus: No.

Paramecium: Does that answer your question?

Stratus: You're pathetic!

Paramecium: No, I'm not!

Pimpman: No, he's not.

Stratus: Yes he is!

Paramecium: Look Stratus, obviously you aren't seeing things from the same point of view I did last week. And Pimpman, I have to thank you again for that point of view.

Pimpman: You're welcome my friend.

Paramecium: But Stratus, maybe I can help you see the light.

Stratus: What are you suggesting?

Paramecium: Pimpman, do you have any hoes with you tonight?

Pimpman: Does a camel spit?

Paramecium: How about giving Stratus one of your finest hoes?

Pimpman: Sure, she's on the house.

Paramecium: What's she doing up there?

Pimpman: Whatever she's getting paid to do.

Paramecium: So Stratus, do we have a deal?

Stratus: Well, I don't--

Paramecium: I'll tell you what. Have a little fun with the hoe and we'll talk to you later and see how things are going.

Pimpman: I'm sure everything will be just fine.

Stratus: What is the girls name?

Pimpman: Birtha! She's just your type.

Stratus: What type is that?

Pimpman: Um.... busty.

Stratus: That's my type.

Paramecium: Then we have a deal. Stratus, just let Pimpman go, he'll find your girl and we'll have her meet you by your dressing room.

[In the ring]
Our first match of the evening.

     Sinsyde, of Hell's Faction, defeats Cadavor. Afterward Cadavor gives us a quick interview backstage.

Interviewer: Cadavor, how does it feel to no longer be part of the New Dominion?

Cadavor: Well that feels great, and it felt great beating Lord Randolph and Demonites ass last week. But I can't believe I just lost to Sinsyde. I want to be able to make an impact in the TWO again.

Interviewer: You want to make an impact like you did back in 1998?

Cadavor: Exactly. I remember the glory days when I had the World Title and now those days are gone. I've had World Title Matches and stuff but I can't seem to regain my glory.

Interviewer: Hopefully your day will come, and hopefully soon.

Cadavor: Hopefully, but what if my day has already come and gone. I may never get it back.

Interviewer: You'll get it back.

Cadavor: Thank you.

[Next Match]
{The following Match is the first match of the Lightheavyweight Title Tournament}

     Allen Vector, the longest reigning Lightheavyweight Champion in TWO history takes on Army Dude, the winner of the classic Gun in the Tree Match at EXTRAVAGANZA 3.

     The match is fast passed and classic, much like their scrimmage last week. This week however, the match is not allowed to expire in a time limit draw but instead continues until the bitter end.

     Army Dude attempts a high flying maneuver off of the fence, but Allen Vector counters by shaking the fence and throwing Army Dude off balance. Army Dude comes crashing down genitals first on the fence and screams in pain. Wrestling Enforcer can be heard backstage laughing.

    While Army Dude lay on the ground in the fetal position, Allen Vector mounts the fence and jumps off with the spin kick to Army Dudes head, knocking him out instantly. With the cover and the pin, Vector advances to the next round.

A pissed off Stratus walks back into Paramecium's office, where he finds Paramecium and Pimpman talking and laughing.

Paramecium: Oh hi Stratus. Is something wrong?

Stratus: Wrong? You gave me a date with Shamoo!

Pimpman: I did not, Birtha is a lovely woman.

Stratus: Lovely? I've seen elephants with a better figure!

Paramecium: I wouldn't go around bragging about that.

Stratus: That's it, I'm going to kick your ass whether the title is on the line or not!

Paramecium: Wait a minute now big guy. I'm not the one that picked the hoe. He is! (points to Pimpman)

Pimpman: Me? It wasn't my idea!

Stratus: Why does Paramecium get the good looking hoes and I get the rejects from the circus?

Paramecium: It's all in how you present yourself.

Stratus: You 2 think you're real funny don't you?

Pimpman: I don't think I'm funny.

Paramecium: I know he's not funny.

Stratus: Listen pretty boy, how about we settle this right now.

Paramecium: You've got it.

Stratus: I do?

Paramecium: That's right. Tonight, in the TWO Dangerzone 38 Main Event, you, Stratus will defend the TWO HaRdCoRe Title against... the Arabian Pimpman. And then you can get retribution for your humiliation tonight. How does that sound?

Pimpman: It sounds like a bad idea to me.

Paramecium: I wasn't asking you.

Stratus: It sounds like you'll have yourself a bloodbath tonight.

Paramecium: A bubble bath? That sounds like a good idea. Hey, Pimpman is Bubbles available tonight?

[In the ring]
     Gus the Annihilator, of the Justice League takes on the newcomer Superbman. And the winner of the match... Superbman!!!

     Afterwards we had a few words with Superbman and asked him what he thought about possibly joining the Justice League, now that Father Athos has been fired.

Superbman: I don't have any plans yet to join the group. So far I've defeated Father Athos, and Gus the Annihilator in my first 2 matches in the TWO, and I still don't know exactly what my goals are yet or how I can best reach them at this point. I'll tell you what I will do though. Next weeks at Dangerzone 39, I'll make my decision.

[Our Next Match]
     After defeating Hells Faction member Spaz last week, Mr. Malicious was challenged to take on another Hell's Faction member tonight. This time Malicious' opponent would be Arachnid.

     However this contest did not come to a sound conclusion as Sinsyde, Draco, and Spaz all used the opportunity, only to lure Malicious into the ring so that he could be attacked.

[Our Next Match]
     Our next match is the second Opening Round Match of the Lightheavyweight Tournament. In this match, Spaz and Draco, both members of the Hell's Faction were forced to face each other for the chance to advance in the Lightheavyweight Tournament.

     Sinsyde attempted to get Spaz to take the fall for the Faction, so that Draco could receive an easy victory for the group and advance, however, Spaz felt it would be better if the 2 actually fought, with the better man advancing. And so the match began.

     Eventually Sinsyde, had enough and tried to engineer the match so that it would end the way he wanted it to. Sinsyde knocked out the referee and continued to double team Spaz in order to help Draco to a victory. However the referee came to and saw some of this, immediately disqualifying Draco. This allowed Spaz to advance in the Lightheavyweight Tournament via DQ.

[At a local adult establishment]
TGB (Scott Thunder): I knew you guys could use a night off from competition, after all, next week the 2 of you are each going to have a shot at the Lightheavyweight Tournament.

PAB: You're damn right.

DMS: Yes he is.

TGB: So, if it came down to it, and you 2 had to wrestling each other, who would win?

PAB: If I had to wrestle DMS... I think I would win.

DMS: I think the ladder would win.

(Meanwhile, the Acronyms don't realize a familiar face sneaking up behind them)
TGB: So what do you guys think of last week? How I came out to the ring and announced that Kamikaze was fired?

PAB: I thought it was pretty cool. The Acronyms reform, and you get revenge on Kamikaze for screwing you out of the big match at EXTRAVAGANZA 3.

DMS: I thought it was cool. You got revenge for EXTRAVAGANZA 3.

PAB: That's what I just said.

DMS: I know.

TGB: Now do you see why I originally didn't want him in the group.

     All of a sudden the Acronyms get jumped and all three are clocked numerous times with the steel chair and laid out.

Kamikaze: That's payback for jumping me at EXTRAVAGANZA 3 and beating me down like a dog. And Thunder, I'll see you next week at Dangerzone 39.

[the Main Event]
the Arabian Pimpman takes on Stratus for the T.W.O. HaRdCoRe Championship.

     The match starts off as pretty much a beat down on the Pimpman. But when Stratus goes for the pin there is no ref. Everyone wonders what is going on until Paramecium comes walking out to the ring with the referee shirt on. He slowly gets in position for the count and before he can count the three, Pimpman surprisingly kicks out.

Stratus: What the hell was that?

Paramecium: That was 2 and a half. Very close big guy, you almost had him.

     The match continues with Stratus beating away on Pimpman, and Paramecium taking it real easy on the counts. Eventually Stratus starts getting pissed. He grabs Pimpman, gorilla presses him over his head and chucks him at Paramecium. Pimpman lands on top of the TWO CEO and Paramecium calls for the DQ.

     But this match is HaRdCoRe meaning there is no DQ. Therefore another referee comes out to the ring. Stratus chucks Paramecium over the fence and covers Pimpman for the pin and the victory.