T.W.O. Show Results - Dangerzone 91

Dangerzone 91 began as Scott "The ICON" Thunder came out to the ring. Thunder announced that since he defeated Spaz in the number 1 contendership match at Rage Party, he is now entitled to receive a World Heavyweight Title shot at our next PPV, Payback 3.

Thunder also announced that since Payback has traditionally been "his" PPV, Thunder will once again be determining all the matches himself. Not TWO CEO Paramecium and not the Board of Commissioners, but the President of the T.W.O. Scott Thunder will sign the matches at Payback 3.

Then Mr. Malicious (who hasn't been seen in action for several months) came out to the ring. "What the hell are you doing here?" Thunder asked, "I thought you were dead!"

Mr. Malicious:  I came here tonight because I have a special announcement to make.

Scott Thunder:  This announcement better be worth my time because I don't appreciate being interrupted like this.

Mr. Malicious:  You might find my announcement interesting. I understand you and Paramecium have been attempting to find out the "secret" identities of the T.W.O. Board of Commissioners for quite some time.

Scott Thunder:  Did you find out who they are?

Mr. Malicious:  Believe it or not, I came out here to reveal the identity of the Chairman of the Board of Commissioners. The big man who has been responsible for sending you and Paramecium those telegrams and signing the important matches that you don't want anything to do with.

Scott Thunder:  Really? Who is it? Give me a name. I'll kill him!

Mr. Malicious:  His name is Mr. Malicious.

Scott Thunder:  What?

Mr. Malicious:  That's right Thunder. It's me. For more than a year now, the Board of Commissioners has made your life and Paramecium's life a living hell and the person behind it all was me, Mr. Malicious!

Scott Thunder:  I can't believe this! You traitor! We brought you to the T.W.O. in it's inception in 1997 and since then we've given you titles matches and all kinds of stuff. Why would you turn on us like this?

Mr. Malicious:  Because Scott Thunder, the T.W.O. isn't just about you and Paramecium. It's also about the young guys and gals that want a chance to make a name for themselves and for over a year I have seen fit to making sure that the newcomers in the T.W.O. get treated fairly!

Scott Thunder:  Why reveal yourself now? After all this time?

Mr. Malicious:  Because I knew that Payback has typically been "Scott Thunder's" PPV, given to you by your tag team partner Paramecium, but I'm here to tell you that the Board of Commissioners is going to have a say in that PPV as well. Sure you may be able to put yourself in the main event, but you aren't going to short-change the young talent here and make fools out of them at Payback 3.

Scott Thunder:  But what fun would Payback be if I didn't get to make fools out of jobbers like you?

Mr. Malicious:  I'm not here to fight Thunder, but I wouldn't turn down an opportunity to kick your ass. No, I'm not here to fight but I do have a couple announcements to make tonight.

Scott Thunder:  Fine Malicious, make your stupid announcements tonight, but listen to me right here and now because I'm only going to say this to you once. PAYBACK IS MY PPV AND NOT YOU OR ANYONE ELSE CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM THE ICON OF BACKYARD WRESTLING, SCOTT THUNDER!!!

Mr. Malicious:  First off, you and your buddy Paramecium will be in action tonight. I don't care how banged up the both of you are from last week's Rage Party PPV, you will compete tonight and your opponents will be John Cynic and Arachnid!

Scott Thunder:  But Paramecium isn't even here! He's recuperating from his cage match!

Mr. Malicious:  If Paramecium doesn't show, then you'll have to fight John Cynic and Arachnid in a handicapped match!

Scott Thunder:  That's BS, I don't have to do anything.

Mr. Malicious:  If you don't do as the Board of Commissioner's say, you will lose your No. 1 contention status and you will not face the World Champion at Payback 3.

Scott Thunder:  Fine. What's your other announcement.

Mr. Malicious:  Tonight, Stryknieghn will defend his World Heavyweight Championship against his longtime rival... Spaz!

Scott Thunder:  No way! Spaz does not deserve a shot, I defeated him for No. 1 contendership remember?

Mr. Malicious:  I remember. But that No. 1 contendership match was to decide the challenger for our Payback PPV. Tonight is not Payback, it's Dangerzone 91, therefore I will decide who is worthy of a title shot!

- On a side note, Mr. Malicious also announced that Paramecium & Scott Thunder would no longer be allowed to hold their weekly interview segment entitled "The Main Event," instead, tonight we would see a new weekly talk show emerge entitled "The Exclusive" and it would be hosted by the resident T.W.O. Interviewer who has great credibility and a reputation as an unbiased reporter.
Korpral  vs.  Arabian Pimpman
Korpral came out to the ring for the first match of the evening. He stated that he was pissed about how many people were still fighting and dying in Iraq. He said all middle easterners and all Muslims were scum and deserved to get their asses kicked. Arabian Pimpman came out to the ring and stated that he was a Muslim and he came from the middle
east, but he was not like the suicide bombers in Iraq and was proud to be an American. They fought and the Arabian Pimpman was able to defeat the bigoted Korpral.

Winner:  Arabian Pimpman

Scott Thunder was seen using the telephone to apparently get ahold of Paramecium. "I don't care if he's resting, wake his ass up and tell him to get his ass down here! We have a match tonight!"
Women's Championship
Ginger  vs.  Missy  vs.  Tsunami
Our next match saw Women's Champion Missy Maniac take on both Ginger and Tsunami in an impressive triangle match for the Women's Championship. Missy again proved her worth, fighting off both opponents and pinning Tsunami for the victory.

Winner:  Missy Maniac
Zombie invited himself into the office of Mr. Malicious.

Zombie:  I'm sorry to bother you sir, but it seems as though Paramecium & Scott Thunder have forgotten to give me a match for tonight. I feel that I am a good asset to the company and I will do whatever you wish.

Mr. Malicious:  I have been watching you and I think I made the right decision when I brought you here. I will grant you a match tonight and it will be the biggest match-to-date in your career as you will challenge Allen Vector for the HaRdCoRe Championship!

Zombie:  Thank you sir! I won't let you down!
Tag Team Championships
Zygoplath & Druid vs. Acronyms
The Acronyms defeated The Trash Wrassla's a couple weeks back at Dangerzone 91. Tonight they defended the belts for the first time against Zygoplath & The Druid (Zygo & Druid became friends at Rage Party '03). This match ended with the Tag Champions successfully retaining the gold.

Winners:  The Acronyms

The Exclusive is a new weekly talk segment, initiated by Mr. Malicious and hosted by the T.W.O. Interviewer. The Interviewer's first guest was longtime T.W.O. Superstar Army Dude.

Army Dude stated that he was not satisfied with his performance at Rage Party (he lost to Korpral) and that he felt his better years were behind him. He then announced that his days of active competition were over and after today his loyal fans would never again see "the Army Dude that they've come to know and love."

What does this mean? Why was Army Dude talking about himself in the third person? Has The Dude retired? Stay tuned for more on this story as it develops.
HaRdCoRe Championship
Zombie  vs.  Allen Vector
As one of the T.W.O.'s newest additions, Zombie has shown a great deal of potential in the sport. Tonight, thanks to the efforts of Mr. Malicious, this young man received his first chance at gold as he faced HaRdCoRe Champ Allen Vector. Though he put up a great fight, Zombie did not win the belt.

Winner:  Allen Vector
Ginger and Tsunami entered the office of Mr. Malicious and asked for another opportunity to get their hands on Missy Maniac. Next time, however, they wanted missy in a 2-on-1 match.

Mr. Malicious denied a handicapped match but said that another woman had already asked him for a match with Missy. Malicious felt that it would be in everyone's best interest to explore the possibilities of Women's tag team wrestling. Therefore, Malicious said that next week, Ginger, Tsunami and this other woman (Sugar Kooky) would get a chance to face Missy Maniac and 2 women of her choice in a 6-women tag team match.
Arachnid & John Cynic  vs.
Scott Thunder & Paramecium
Paramecium was able to make it to the T.W.O. Backyard Arena in time as he teamed with Scott Thunder to take on Arachnid & John Cynic. Though obviously worn from his Cage Match last week, Paramecium helped his partner Scott Thunder to victory as he pinned John Cynic for the win.

Winners:  Scott Thunder & Paramecium
Missy Maniac stepped out of the shower (wearing a towel) when she noticed that she was not alone in the dressing room.

Missy:  If you've come here to attack me, then at least let me get dressed first.

Jade:  That's not why we're here.

Nikki:   Actually, we heard that you are going to need 2 female tag team partners next week and we came to offer our services.

Jade:  We're sick of not being utilized on T.W.O. programming and we don't care anymore if it's for the Women's title or not. We just want a chance to kick those bitches asses in front of the World.

Missy:  In that case... you have a deal. Now would you mind leaving so I can get dressed?
World Heavyweight Championship
Spaz  vs.  Stryknieghn
Our Dangerzone 91 Main Event was a World Heavyweight Championship rematch between Spaz and Stryknieghn. Just as they had done in the past, they tore into each other in the quest of being known as the best. In the end, just as before, Stryknieghn came out the better man.

Winner:  Stryknieghn
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