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T.W.O. Show Results - Dangerzone 95
Scott Thunder came out to the ring and proclaimed that tonight he would sign all of the matches for next week's Payback PPV. Thunder declared that at "his" PPV, every title would be on the line. Since the World Title match was signed last week, that left the Tag Team, Women's, Lightheavyweight, and Jobber Championships to be signed.
Thunder said, not only was he determined to find the best suited challenger for each match, he said he'd already decided who would challenge Allen Vector for the HaRdCoRe Championship.
Since Paramecium had defeated Vector in non-title action last week, it would be Paramecium who would challenge Vector for the HaRdCoRe Title in a hellacious Falls-Count-Anywhere match at Payback.
Also, Thunder declared he had also already signed a bonus match which fans are sure to enjoy. It was several years ago at the original Extravaganza PPV that Mr. Malicious fought in the T.W.O.'s first and (thus far) only Dance of Death Match.
A Dance of Death is a match where fireworks are set off during the match and used as weapons. Because Malicious has been such a thorn in Thunders side in recent weeks, Thunder decided that Malicious would have to compete in another Dance of Death, the T.W.O.'s second ever Dance of Death against the maniacal John Cynic.
It was then that Mr. Malicious came out to the ring. He stated that even though Thunder could sign whatever crazy matches he wants for Payback, tonight Thunder would still have to answer to the T.W.O. Board of Commissioners. Since Malicious is the head of the board, he declared that Thunder & Paramecium would be taking on their Payback opponents tonight! In tag team action!
And so, in tonight's main event, Paramecium & Scott Thunder will face HaRdCoRe Champion Allen Vector and World Heavyweight Champion Stryknieghn in tag team action!
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Tsunami vs. Army Dudette
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In our opening contest, Army Dude... er... uh... I mean Army Dudette once again proved himself... uh... er... herself worthy in "women's" competition with an impressive victory over the oriental sensation Tsunami.
Winner: Army Dudette
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[Backstage]
Once again watching Army Dudette on TV, Women's Champion Missy Maniac, and her friends Jade & 'Naughty' Nikki talked about why they thought Dudette wanted to be a "woman." Perhaps it was the only way he could get respect among the opposite... er... uh... I mean, same sex.
Then Jade & Nikki broke the news that they would be competing against the opposite sex tonight when they challenge male Tag Team Champions The Trash Wrassla's. These women were determined to prove who was the stronger sex.
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Lightheavyweight Championship
Superbman vs. 'Cunning' Chris
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After Chris bumped into Superbman backstage last week, Superbman demanded a Lightheavyweight Title shot. As the match wore on, it appeared Chris was winning, so Zygoplath attempted to help his tag team partner Superbman. Following a DQ loss, they continued to double-team the Champion.
Winner by DQ: 'Cunning' Chris
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[Backstage]
Zombie walked up to Spaz asking if he had picked a tag team partner yet. Spaz just looked at Zombie as he must have been thinking "who the hell is this guy?"
Spaz: Yes. I have.
Zombie: Well, who is it.
Spaz: Uh. None of your business. Now go back to... to... whatever you do.
Zombie: The reason I wanted to be your partner is because I used to watch you when you were part of the Hell's Faction.
Spaz: Oh you did, did you?
Zombie: It's too bad that group broke up before I joined the T.W.O. I would have liked to have been part of it.
Spaz: Trust me, it would not have been a good career move.
Zombie: So did you change your mind about letting me be your partner?
Spaz: No because that too would be a bad career move.
Zombie: I think I could learn a lot from you.
Spaz: I meant, it would a bad career move for me.
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Korpral vs. John Cynic
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Proving himself worthy of a PPV match against veteran Mr. Malicious, John Cynic not only defeated Korpral but after the match ended, he continued to beat on him. Mr. Malicious came to Korpral's aid by pulling back Cynic and threatening to suspend him.
Winner: John Cynic
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The Exclusive is a new weekly talk segment, initiated by Mr. Malicious and hosted by the T.W.O. Interviewer. This week's guest: Jobber Champion Narc.
Narc complained about how he has been looked down upon ever since his debut. He stated that as Jobber Champion, he may not be the most revered athlete, but at least he held a Championship belt.
When the T.W.O. Interviewer began to laugh, Narc attacked him with a toilet seat. Spaz came to the Interviewer's aid, knocking out Narc. Spaz then asked him once again if he would consider being his tag team partner.
The T.W.O. Interviewer was still reluctant to join Spaz, as he was not a trained athlete. Spaz said that was OK, and to prove that he would make a good wrestler, Spaz suggested that the Interviewer face Narc in singles action later tonight.
Interviewer: And what will my name be?
Spaz: Because you are new to competition, we'll call you... Novice.
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Tag Team Championships
Nikki & Jade vs. Trash Wrassla's
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In an... entertaining match, Nikki, Jade, Billy & Jim competed for the coveted Tag Team Titles. After exploiting the men's... "weak points" it seemed as though the women might snag the belts. But if anyone can fight dirty is the Trash Wrassla's, and they did some cheating of their own.
Winners: The Trash Wrassla's
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[Backstage]
Mr. Malicious approached Scott Thunder with a letter. It stated that if Scott Thunder lost his match with World Champion Stryknieghn at Payback next week, Scott Thunder would not be welcome to return to Dangerzone. It was signed by the Board of Commissioners.
Scott Thunder answered by pulling out a paper of his own. It was a contract, signed by himself and CEO Paramecium. It stated that if Scott Thunder won the World Heavyweight Championship at Payback he would be allowed to have his own show again.
Mr. Malicious: It was years ago you had that short-lived TGB TV program. Besides, you're not the TGB anymore.
Scott Thunder: I may not be the TGB, but I still am an ICON, and if I win that match next week, the following week you won't have to worry about barring me from Dangerzone because I will run the show on ICON TV and then I'm going to bar you!
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Novice vs. Narc
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In his first-ever singles match, the T.W.O. Interviewer, competing under the name "Novice" faced Jobber Champion Narc in singles action. When Narc attempted to grab a foreign object, Spaz was there to give him a swift kick in the face.
Winner: Novice
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[Backstage]
Before entering the ring for the nights main event, Scott Thunder announced the additional matches which will take place at next week's Payback PPV.
Spaz & Novice will challenge for the Tag Team Championships.
Army Dudette will challenge Missy Maniac for the Women's Title.
Zygoplath will face 'Cunning' Chris for the Lightheavyweight Title and Zygoplath's tag partner Superbman will be barred from ringside.
And last and certainly least, Narc will defend the Jobber Title against a surprise opponent.
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Thunder & Paramecium vs.
Allen Vector & Stryknieghn
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In our main event, the President & CEO of T.W.O. Entertainment (Scott Thunder & Paramecium) faced HaRdCoRe Champion Allen Vector and World Heavyweight Champion Stryknieghn in tag team action. Interestingly, the match ended with Scott Thunder pinning the Champion Stryknieghn...
Winners: Scott Thunder & Paramecium
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